Testimony 1

Other than becoming a Christian, the Reflections Bible Study group is the best thing I’ve done. I was a wallflower spiritually and physically. I knew God loved me, but He was surrounded by all the important Christians, His “pets”, and He would wink at me as I stood be the wall as if to say “yeah I love you too.” I can never fully understand God’s love for me, but I now know that I am His beloved. He loves me as much as He loved Peter and Paul. For the first time I’ve been able to experience God’s joy. I’m free of the guilt and shame.
My relationships with my husband and children have significantly improved. The walls I’ve built up over the years have been falling. I can finally let them get close to me. I hated who I was, but I can now say I like who I am. This is who God made me. He has a purpose for me in this life, that I will bring Him glory. I’ve had people comment on the change that has taken place in my life. These are people who do not know I went through the Reflections Bible study.
When I found out about the Reflections Bible study, I thought I had effectively dealt with my abortion. I thought I was okay. I decided to go through the study because I wanted to help other women who had abortions. I thought it would be a helpful tool and I could deal with any issues I hadn’t dealt with. I soon realized I hadn’t experienced God’s healing at all. The 11 weeks of the study were hard, having to deal with emotions and guilt that had been suppressed for so long, but they were also the sweetest times. I loved knowing I had two people praying for me. At first I felt unworthy. The notes I received were a great encouragement. Being able to talk about my experience with other women and hear their thoughts and feelings about their experience was very helpful in the healing process. We wrote letters to God about our babies and named our babies. Today, I can acknowledge my baby, and instead of being appalled by the white crosses that are put out every January in remembrance of the aborted babies, I can now say there is a cross for Rachel.